I certainly shirk the responsibility many times to write well on here. There are so many things to express, but how, and who would listen? I mostly think of this blog as a way to keep track of change over time in my art and the way I communicate it with others.
I’ve been holding down the ever evolving obstacle course of this making a living from art and making art from living. Obstacle course sounds harsh, but let’s be honest here, we’re all alive, and so feel the jumps, turns, and sunset drives each day we exist. This is life! Though I could complain about who has more, what I don’t have, this and that, the baggage of holding what has been wrong with my life doesn’t serve making fresh art. So as the days go by, I have to learn how to accept myself, the life I have, and name the blessings all around in order to continue making the art.
Someone who has known me a looong time said to me that they liked when my work was angsty in high school and darker. That kind of work is great and really important, but I have really felt that making artwork that also speaks to lighter hearted things and symbolic insecurities serves my life better these days.
The world is tough. There are a lot of very mean aspects about matters happening all over the world. And it’s important to address the short comings of our political climate, our relationship to the environment, and stand up against the unjust ways in which sentient beings and our environment are treated each day. Part of this is at times standing up and speaking out. For me, this also implicates that I accept and own my own mistakes to others and my environment, so that I don’t do any further damage. I can do this by quiet, private meditative practice, like painting. The art is what I was clearly drawn to do since a young age, and a place I sought refuge when things felt too big as a kid. Today, I don’t want to sit in the hurt and resent, I just want to add colorful, loving, reflective pieces to the the world at this time.
Let’s be honest though, I still sit in hurt and hold resentment. I’m a really good holder. But these days, I’ve been in awe of how these painful things also bring forth a larger capacity to see more about the world around from this tiny perspective. This practice of watching the way water works, the way artist make work, and the natural elements that make this world so spectacular really thrill me. When I get to do commissions that glimpse into other people’s lives and celebrate their loves, special moments, and families, I really feel the capacity of these heart walls expand, and so honored to serve as an artist in this life and figure out more ways to use it as a resource to engage with the world.
This painting is a wedding portrait measuring 40″ x 60″ acrylic & oil painting on canvas. It isn’t quite complete yet, however, I’m hoping to finish it up tonight and send it along to Rose in San Franscisco at the end of the week.
I’d love to get to work on new commissions, so please feel free to contact me with any questions for new projects and creative endeavors. Though, I have been busty creating new Submerged pieces & House Sparrow paintings, I’m looking forward to new projects working more one on one with individuals.