Tough times have led resilient individuals to become innovative and solution driven and alway willing to take a risk! Those are some of many hallmarks of entreneurship. This afternoon I have been listening to Gayle Lemmon on TED. She discusses some topics about women’s resourcefulness post-conflict makes for tremendous entrepreneurs. In no way am I living amongst war torn streets. I’ll just take a few steps away from that right now and just focus on the topic of being strategic of when conflict arises.
This year is a struggle for me to find a job in my field of interests. I have a lot of passion intensely focused on becoming an artistic entrepreneur in conjunction to be a part of community, but it’s uncertain of where I should channel these energies. These crystals I’m currently painting are a gesture to finding sources of transformation and inspiration in daily life.
It has been a powerful year for learning about innovation. When struggles emerge for myself I feel a great opening in my heart muscles, leaving a sense of rawness and inflammation. The body responds to our injuries going to work to restore and re-cooperate the places of hurt from within.
My statements about raw skin is present because of the fresh tattoo on my chest that is a cover-up to fix a badly executed tattoo I receieved while apprenticing at the Living Arts Studio. I am really disappointed by the way I was treated in this place, and later text messaged by Michelle Vernon about my unprofessional nature. In actuality it is unprofessional to slander a person who worked for you for free, helped your business make hundreds of dollars and degrade you in a text message.
I know it’s not unusual to turn to anger toward others when something feels embarassing or unknown for me. I’m trying. But anger exists for a reason. It clues up into some things that off internally and externally (I’m pissed internet world). Since last May I worked at Living arts in trade for learning the skillful practice to be a tattoo artist (i.e. no pay). However, over time, it wasn’t really clear what I was learning about tattoos. It has taken months to pull back and look at the mind-game of this place. I see the parts that are my responsibility. That I couldn’t take a job very seriously if I wasn’t being paid and there was no explicit program of learning. The nature of tattoo apprenticeships is being the least significant, but I couldn’t suck it up for them because I wasn’t sure I believed in them and their standards or that they even believed in me.
Well, I believe in me. Strong women who have opinions about fairness and induce change look scary or strange to others, and it was never less true in this circumstance. Sometimes the best game-changer is staying true to yourself and taking the time to find out what that means.
My job insecurity has left me feeling vulnerable. But here is a chance to transform vulnerability into a source of channeling strength. Vulnerability opens up windows to reevaluate, learn, and accept change. Opening up these windows shakes out some settled dust. Change is sometimes uncomfortable, but this discomfort is a means of looking inward to inspect some neglected spaces, reorganize them and make room for new.
The Ted talks by these mighty women inspire me to also push past my perceived limitations, imagine transformation in our current economic climate. I have been having difficulties finding a job since November. As a result, I’m delving into my own artist business to bring it further.
I will persevere. All I can do is air out the forgotten places and gently a nurture change. that is gentle and loving. There’s so much inspiration out there, I just have to find where to look.